Eighth Grade The Movie: A Therapist’s Perspective
Eighth Grade The Movie: A Therapist's Perspective
A few weeks ago, a friend and fellow therapist took me to see Eighth Grade the movie, a story about an adolescent girl’s last week in middle school. While Bo Burnham's movie generated buzz due to its ‘R’ rating, I found the film to be an accurate reflection of many of the issues I see when working with adolescents and teens. From social anxiety to parental conflicts, this transitional age continues to challenge kids and parents alike as they attempt to navigate the stormy waters of independence and security.
Angst. Awkward. Anxious. The Three A’s of Adolescence. This movie exposes the audience to what it is like to be a blossoming middle school-high schooler as the protagonist, Kayla (played by Elsie Fisher), encounters anxious social situations, social media overload, typical parent-child communication struggles, questions about sexuality, and developing her personal and public identity. Throughout this film, I found myself cringing and tensing up with feelings of awkwardness and “Oh no! Don’t do it!” Eventually though, my feelings resolved, my stress decreased, and everything was okay.
In this way, Eight Grade truly puts the audience in the shoes of an eighth grader with all of the painful self-awareness and anxiety. It brings to light a normal developmental issue for kids at this age called “The Spotlight Effect”. Adolescents going through this stage of identity vs. role confusion can have this intense experience that everyone is watching their every move. This natural feeling, which exists to help kids develop social skills, concepts of right and wrong, and their identity, can cause adolescents to experience social anxiety and hyperawareness of self. How exhausting does that sound? To feel constantly watched, judged, and on display? No wonder self-esteem remains such a struggle for this age group.
Now when you add social media into this mix, you create the perfect storm for feelings of self-doubt and pressure. In the words of Kayla, “Being yourself can be hard, and it’s like, ‘Aren’t I always being myself?’ And ya, for sure. But being yourself is like not changing yourself to impress someone else.”
As I said before, this movie it not without hope. While the audience holds their breath in anticipation of every potential identity threatening situation, we get to watch Kayla figure out what works for her. I loved this! Every adolescent is unique and, therefore, approaches life and challenges in different ways. What works for one kid might not necessarily work for another. It is important for parents to keep this in mind. Watching your child go through the academic and social ups-and-downs of middle school can be one of the most painful and tense parental experiences. However, just as Kayla’s dad says, it is more of a joy than a sadness to watch your child develop and figure out who they are.
For some, Kayla’s wisdom will resonate, “I’m really nervous all the time, and I try really hard not to feel that way; but you just need to face your fears and let people know the real you.” For others, and even Kayla, this may be easier said than done. As its themes hit upon anxiety, identity, and the coming of age experience, this film has something for teens, parents, and everyone else in between.
If you know of a teen that is struggling with angst, feeling awkward, or anxiety, click here to learn more about a teen therapy group that can help.