3 Quick Fixes for Your Child’s Anxiety
3 Quick Fixes for Your Child’s Anxiety
Shelby Stone, MMFT
When you notice your child in a state anxiety or panic, you may feel helpless. Your child may be experiencing difficulty breathing, racing heart, sweating, shaking, loss of control, or fear. Learning to manage stress and anxiety can take time, but what can you do right now? Here are 3 tricks to help your child take back control in the moment:
Belly Breathing: Help your child get in touch with their breath. Most of us have heard about “deep breathing” but how many of us practice on a daily basis? Just like shooting a basketball, belly breathing takes practice. By encouraging your child to practice breathing during times of calm, it will be much easier for them to actually use it during times of stress or panic. Walk them through these easy steps:
Have your child lay on the ground or sit in a chair and place their hands on their stomach.
Instruct them to try and fill up their belly, not their chest, with air. Sometimes placing a cup on their stomach when they are laying down can help show them when their stomach goes up and down with air.
Show them how to inhale through their nose and have them watch their hands go up with their belly. This is how they know they are getting that good deep belly breath. If you notice their shoulders rising instead of their stomach, have them try again until they are able to fill up their belly, not just their chest, with air.
Have them hold the breath for a few seconds and then exhale the air slowly through their mouth. Tell them to push all the air out and watch their hands lower all the way down on their belly.
Keep practicing! The goal is for you child to make the exhale longer than the inhale. Try counting the breaths for them: Inhale-2-3. Hold-2-3. Exhale-2-3. The more they practice the easier it will be to lengthen the exhale to 5, 6, or 7 counts.
5 Senses: Use physical senses to help your child reconnect their mind and body to the present moment.
5 things they can see: Have you child look for 5 things in the room that they can see. These can be 5 random things: table, picture, window, fan, pen. Or you can pick a shape or color, like 5 round things or 5 blue things.
4 things they can touch: Feel 4 different things around them. Connecting with their sense of touch will help bring them back into their body and into the present moment. Have them feel the texture of their shirt, explore the corners of their chair, reach out for the coolness of a cup, or feel the soft coat of a pet.
3 things they can hear: Listen for 3 sounds. This takes a little more focus, which will help to slow their breathing and relax their body. Maybe they can hear cars on the street, the air conditioner, or the ticking of a clock.
2 things they can smell: Have them find 2 things they can sniff. This may seem difficult, but they can always smell their hand and their armpit!
1 thing they can taste: By this point, they should be feeling a little more in control of their breathing, body, and mind. Have them take a bite or sip of something. If they don’t have a little snack or drink, they can always just notice how their mouth tastes.
Favorite Things: Help you child use their mind to regain control and redirect their attention. By coming up with a list of favorite things, your child is activating the thinking part of his or her brain, which shuts off during times of panic (see below). They are also soothing themselves with positive thoughts. So have them start listing!
What’s your favorite color? Favorite movie? Favorite TV show? Favorite animal? Favorite person? Favorite season? Favorite song?
You can also go with the ABC’s: Favorite thing starting with the letter A, letter B, and so forth.
Give these a try and see what works for your child!
What's happening in your child's brain?
During a panic attack, the amygdala in the emotional part of the brain gets triggered. This activates the primitive part of the brain which is purely reactive (think fight or flight) and is in charge of things like breath and heart rate. The prefrontal cortex, the logical or thinking part of the brain, is no longer in charge. In other words, your child’s brain is in reactive mode, not thinking mode. So, the goal is to tap back into the thinking part of their brain in order to help your child regain control in the moment.
Want to know more? Are you or your child struggling with stress or anxiety? Learn how therapy can help.