Fighting the Loneliness Epidemic
Fighting the Loneliness Epidemic
SHELBY STONE, MMFT
Who do you want to spend your birthday with? This may sound like a simple question to some - but, to many, this question ignites a rush of anxious thoughts and feelings of loneliness:
Who should I invite? Will anyone want to come? Only a few? How embarrassing? What if people don’t show up? Are we good enough friends for me to invite them? Will it be more fun just to do something with a couple friends? Everyone is so busy.
Social connection plays a large role in not only how we live our daily lives but also how we view ourselves. Unfortunately, it seems that loneliness has been on the rise in society and many are fighting the loneliness epidemic. A recent study from Cigna revealed that social isolation is rampant among 18 to 22 year olds with younger generations experiencing a higher rate of loneliness than their parents and grandparents. What does this mean for Millennials and Generation Z?
Loneliness has been continually linked to health problems and can actually make you sick. Not only can loneliness weaken your immune system, increase stress, and impact your sleep, but it can shorten your life just like smoking or drinking alcohol and even more than obesity. Moreover, loneliness can lead to and perpetuate issues of depression, substance abuse, anxiety, and more. Stronger social relationships help you survive.
There is a difference between being alone and feeling loneliness. Loneliness involves feeling sad about not having friends and being isolated. Individuals can feel content when alone and can also feel sad about lack of relationships while being surrounded by people. Strong social bonds require meaningful relationships in which you connect with other people on a deeper level. This is different from followers on Instagram or friends on Facebook.
How can you fight off loneliness and increase your physical and mental health?
- Reach out to others. This may seem obvious but it takes courage and strength. You might feel trapped in loneliness because loneliness can trick you into believing that you are an outcast. Prove yourself wrong and reach out to others to start building relationships. It takes intention to cultivate a social circle, so schedule friend time and social time. Block it out on your calendar or it probably won’t happen.
- Focus on nurturing others. One of the best ways to combat negative feelings like loneliness is to direct your attention outwards. Helping others, whether it’s a stranger, child, pet, or friend, makes people feel good and increases self-esteem. Even adopting a new pet will allow for companionship and the opportunity to nurture.
- Cultivate intimacy. Humans are social creatures and crave intimate attachments. You may have a large social circle but lack a deep connection with one or more individuals. Challenge yourself to get to know someone on a deeper level and allow them to understand you as well.
- Find a group. There are many opportunities to connect with others who share your interests through clubs, classes, and other groups. Look for something you enjoy, like hiking, painting, kickball, yoga, or cooking, and sign up.
- Show up! Even when it is so tempting to stay in and finish your Netflix series, make the effort to go to that coffee or class. Make a pact to show up. You can actually change the temporary feeling of fatigue, anxiety, or sadness by sticking to your commitment and opening yourself to opportunities for enjoyment.
- Sleep. Feeling tired and fatigued plays a huge role in preventing you from being social. Loneliness can increase this feeling. Break the cycle by paying attention to your sleep habits and making sure you are getting enough sleep, especially before a planned event.
- Practice kindness and gratitude. By practicing positive habits and focusing your attention on “the good,” you are rewiring your brain to seek out positive experiences and opportunities to be thankful. This directly combats negative thoughts of loneliness and self-pity. Expressing appreciation increases positive emotions in both the person receiving it and the person giving it. So take a step back, be kind, and make a list of things you are thankful for!
Try out these ideas and notice any changes. Remember just like anxiety, loneliness serves a purpose and, in healthy doses, can motivate us to reach out and connect with others. It is also important to learn how to be alone and feel okay. Just pay attention to the “healthiness level” of your loneliness and reach out for help if you need to.
Are you struggling with feelings of loneliness? Find out how therapy can help.