How to Handle the Holidays
How to Handle the Holidays
Shelby Stone, LMFT
Peace, joy, and love. Three words that are often said and heard during the holiday season. But what about all of the other emotions and worries that come with this season?
For many, the holiday season brings mixed feelings of joy, stress, love, and loss. It can be difficult to handle the holidays when it has been a hard year, finances are tight, loved ones have been lost, or family relationships are strained. Here are some tips to help you take care of yourself during this holiday season:
Be kind to your wallet: It is easy to get swept up in the holiday spirit of giving. However, travel costs and presents can get costly quickly. Check in with your finances to see where you are this year. Remember that love can be expressed in many forms: gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, and physical touch. Research some money saving hacks such as requesting help with traveling fees in lieu of presents, making gifts, writing cards, or helping others with various things. Consider enjoying meaningful and fun activities for free, like volunteering or caroling together with loved ones.
Take care of your physical health: During the hustle and bustle, it is common to fall out of your regular movement or work-out routine. Combine this with holiday treats and sweets and your body might not be feeling its best. Exercise and movement serve to stave off feelings of depression and mange anxiety. If you feel that extra sleepiness, lack of motivation, or increase in stress, be mindful of what is going on in your body and what you can do to take care of it.
Be realistic: Remember Murphy’s law: “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.” The holidays do not have to be perfect and rarely are. This is not to say that you should maintain a negative mindset. Rather, adjust some expectations and practice flexibility. Conflicts arise, not everyone can be there, and someone will mix up the sugar and salt. It’s okay! Focus on a few of your favorite traditions and try to make them happen.
Respect boundaries: Saying “no” might be especially difficult at the holidays, but it can prevent you from feeling overwhelmed or irritated. It is impossible to attend every holiday party or even see every family member. Pay attention to your needs and make sure to respect both your boundaries and others. Manage your time and emotions by saying “no,” so that when you say “yes,” you can be fully present and engaged. It is also okay to decline questions, opt out of certain traditions, and celebrate in your own way.
Acknowledge loss: For those who are missing loved ones during this season, take the time to honor those who have passed or those who cannot be there with you. Some find meaning in lighting a candle, saying a prayer, or saving a seat. Find something that feels comfortable to you and allow yourself the space to notice the loss. This is also true for those dealing with loss of relationships or feelings of loneliness. You are allowed to express your feelings, whatever they may be.
Take time for yourself: Especially for those with large families, it is important to indulge in at least 10-15 minutes of alone time. Freeing yourself from distractions, taking a deep breath, and clearing your thoughts will do wonders for your stress level and relationships. If this feels selfish during a time of togetherness, remember that little efforts like this go a long way in keeping your relationships with others healthy. Think about it: If you can take a moment to relax, you might have a little more patience and understanding with others.
Help make the holidays more enjoyable this year by taking control of your well-being and choosing healthy steps. By addressing your needs, practicing self-care, and being creative with traditions and celebrations, you can enhance not only your own, but others’ holiday experience this year. Happy Holidays to all!
This article was originally featured in LA-CAMFT’s Monthly Newsletter, Voices: December 2018.
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